Better or 'ethical' sex

Sex is as diverse as the people who have it. So, when we talk about ‘good’ or ethical sex, it’s important to know we’re not talking about a certain type of sex or sexual preference. It’s up to you to decide what you’re into and what you’re comfortable doing sexually.

Ethical sex is about having sex and relationships that are fair, healthy and don't hurt anyone. Or, in other words, it’s about making sure your sexuality matches up with your values.

❓ Reflection: Where do you learn about sex?

Common answers include:

- Family / Parents
- School / Sex education
- Friends, mentors and peers
- Movies, TV and media
- Personal experiences
- Porn

Everyone has a different understanding of sex depending on their gender, sexuality, age, and how we’ve been raised — but ethical sex can also be very different from what we’ve been taught.

It's important to be aware of your values. What are the ideas you have picked up from the world around you? Are these helpful or unhelpful? Being aware of your values will help you make more informed decisions about how you approach sex in your own life.

By being aware of your values, in contrast to the values being shown to us in media and culture, you can take a more active role in bringing your values to sex and your relationships. Ethical sex is not only about the sex you want or don’t want to have, but about the kind of person you want to be. Hopefully, you’ve had a chance to reflect on what that means for you, and how that might be different to the values, ideas and attitudes you see in media, culture, and sometimes the classroom.