A guide that gets straight to the point about sex and relationships.

Asexuality

Not everyone experiences sexual desire or romantic attraction all the time, if at all.

📖 3 min read

What is asexuality?

Asexuality is a type of sexual orientation where people feel little or no sexual attraction to other people. However, they may feel other types of attraction, like romantic attraction (like wanting to fall in love), platonic attraction (friendship), emotional attraction, or sensual attraction (desiring to touch or be touched).

For example, many asexual people can still want emotional or romantic closeness, though simply without a strong desire for sex. In other words, someone can be asexual, but also straight, lesbian, gay or pansexual, and may be more romantically attracted to people of one or other genders.


📷 What are some common challenges that asexual people may experience?

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Being pressured to want sex

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Being told there is something wrong with you for not wanting to have sex

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Feeling pressured to have sex when you do not wish to

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Being accused of being a ‘prude’, or being ‘sex negative’, even if you are genuinely accepting of other people’s desires and sexual relationships

I watch porn, and I'm asexual, is something wrong with me?

This is actually very normal. Wanting to watch something is not the same as wanting to do the thing you enjoy watching.

What does it mean to be in a relationship with an asexual partner?

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What if my asexuality is a symptom of low hormones?

It’s true that things like sex hormones can impact on a person’s desire for sex. However, in any relationship, there is likely always one person who has higher desire than the other, whether it’s about sex, or even about anything else, like wanting to travel, or choosing what movie to watch. Difference in desire is not necessarily a problem, if you have open communication and you can find ways to safely and fairly negotiate intimacy.

If you’re concerned about your hormones, this is something to speak to a GP (doctor) or medical professional about.

Some useful terminology

In summary

There are different types of attraction, and many attractions can exist together at the same time, and can depend on your relationship and your context. Whether or not you are asexual, levels of sexual desire and attraction can come and go, across your lifetime, regardless of how young or old you are. High desire does not necessarily mean good, and low desire does not necessarily mean bad.

Asexuality is a normal and common sexual orientation, as well as a common experience of desire.

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